My grandma had this sign over the toilet in my grandpa’s bathroom. It read “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie and wipe the seatie”. For us ladies this is common sense considering we sit to pee. However for the men in my life this is a task that seems inevitably and absolutely impossible. Every time I walk into the bathroom and the seat is sprinkled with pee I am baffled by the fact that an organ that resembles a hose can have such awful aim. The toilet bowl, also known as the target is relatively larger than the hose in which they are aiming with. How is it then that said target can not be hit?
And why is the seat not up? Leaving the seat up in itself is grounds for WWIII but peeing on the seat where a ladies rear end is to sit is unspeakable, unimaginable, unthinkable and yet it happens in my house all the time. It is here that we are lead into the second part of my grandmother’s sign “be a sweetie and wipe the seatie”. We all make mistakes but seriously……. WIPE the stinking seat!!!! It is not my fault or any other ladies that you can’t aim. Nor is it my responsibility, wifely/motherly duty or a joy to clean up after you with my butt.
I can’t think of one female that enjoys a moist, wet feeling of who knows what on their under carriage when they sit to enjoy the 30 seconds of peace and quiet (I am totally exaggerating the 30 seconds of peace thing ). That 30 seconds of peace that we get as we close the bathroom door, turn the lock and run to do our business is now tainted by the feeling that we have just been bathed in someone else’s urine. Is it not bad enough that we are covered in slobber, food, boogers and who knows what else? Is it not bad enough that this 30 seconds of peace is joined by fingers creeping under the door asking why it’s taking so long? Little voices using the word “mom” ten thousand times because you “accidentally” locked the door before asking them to join you? Or worse the sound of silence……? Oh no!!! It’s not enough. Now we have thighs covered in someone else’s pee and no time to shower in the next four days.
For heaven sakes help a girl out!! Take a few extra seconds and wipe the seat. Or even better lift the seat, pee, then put the seat back down. If you happen to sprinkle a little when the seat is lifted, tear a piece of toilet paper off, wipe the rim and put seat back down, flush and DONE! I think I speak for all females when I say it would be greatly appreciated! Everyone’s life would be so much better if this simple task could be considered and acted upon.
A huge thank you from the wife/mother who has sat in and cleaned up too much pee for a lifetime!!!!
*My husband would like you all to know that he does not ever pee on the seat!